


When You're Left Behind

by captainraz



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen, Post canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-19 06:51:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1459969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainraz/pseuds/captainraz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of interconnected one shots detailing the relationship between Kira Nerys and Kasidy Yates after the events of "What You Leave Behind".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kira works up the courage to approach Kas for the first time since Ben's disappearance.

Kira had been avoiding Kasidy for weeks now. She knew that didn't reflect well on her but she just didn't know what to say to Kas. What does one say to someone whose husband has left her to reside in a wormhole with alien beings? Aliens beings that Kira believes to be gods. Interacting with Jake was easier; she'd known him longer, felt closer to him and knew what to say or not to say. But she didn't know Kasidy all that well and it was harder to separate Kasidy Yates from the Emissary's wife.

And then there was the fact they were in similar positions.

Admittedly their situations weren't exactly the same, Kira wasn't married to Odo and she certainly wasn't carrying his child, but there was no denying the parallels. Amicably though they had parted, her lover had left her for a higher calling. While Odo's higher calling was to teach his people that "solids" weren't all bad, Sisko had been called to the Celestial Temple of the Prophets. People had offered Kira all sorts of condolences that she hadn't wanted to hear, and she suspected that Kasidy wouldn't want to hear them either.

Unfortunately those platitudes were all that came to mind whenever she saw Kas on the Promenade.

Kira knew that that was a poor excuse and that she was running away from her own problems even as she was avoiding this particular situation. Kira Nerys was no coward, so she vowed that she'd talk to Kasidy the next time she saw her. Surely saying the wrong thing was better than saying nothing?

The next time Kira saw Kasidy was when she was patrolling the Promenade late one night, a habit she'd picked up since the end of the war. Kasidy was sat in the abandoned Replimat, drinking something and reading from a PADD. Kira went to the replicator to grab a ginger tea before heading to Kas' table.

"Mind if I join you?" asked Kira.

"Go right ahead," replied Kasidy, gesturing to the chair opposite her. Kira sat down and sipped her drink.

"Something wrong with the replicator in your quarters? I could get someone to take a look at it."

"It's not that," said Kasidy, "It's just that sometimes our -my- quarters remind me too much of Ben. It's like I see him everywhere."

"I think I know what that's like," said Kira quietly. The two women shared a smiled of solidarity.

"I'm surprised you didn't do the whole 'The Emissary is blessed to be residing in the Celestial Temple with the Prophets' speech. It's what I've gotten from most other Bajorans."

"The thought did cross my mind," said Kira.

"What stopped you?"

"It wouldn't help," Kira said, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter if he's been called to the Celestial Temple, or if leaving was the right thing to do, or if he's coming back. None of that helps you with being the one who was left behind." As she spoke Kira felt tear prickle behind her eyes as her own turbulent emotions rose to the surface. Kas looked like she understood. Silence fell for a few moments as they sipped their drinks. Eventually Kira spoke again. "How's the morning sickness? I know you were having a rough time of it."

"I've just about got it under control now, which is a relief. Did you get an morning sickness with Kirayoshi?" asked Kasidy. Kira shook her head.

"It's sneezing for Bajorans. I did get swollen ankles though. You've probably got that to look forward to. Miles' foot rubs helped enormously with that."

"I'll have to find someone to do that for me. Ben was always so good at massages. I wish he were here."

"Me too," said Kira laying her hand on Kasidy's. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to him being gone," she said, not sure if she was talking about Ben or Odo. She drained her cup and stood up. "Well, I better get going, I've got to be up at 0500 to tomorrow. If there's anything you need, anything at all, you let me know. Ok?"

"Ok," replied Kas, looking profoundly grateful. "Thank you, Nerys."

Kira smiled as she returned her mug to the replicator before heading towards a turbolift. She strode down the darkened Promenade feeling lighter than she had in weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kasidy is struggling with her pregnancy. Kira helps out as much as she can.

"Julian has no idea if makara herbs are effective for humans, but he says they're not harmful. They taste revolting, but they did the trick for my swollen ankles."

Kira and Kasidy were sharing a late night drink in the Replimat, enjoying the nocturnal quiet of the Promenade. They never seemed to make any plans to meet, but they'd managed to run into each other many times since that first night several weeks ago. Kira's patrols of the Promenade often seemed to coincide with Kasidy's need to escape her quarters. Not that Kira minded; it was good to have a friend in a similar situation. And since Nerys was one of Kasidy's few friends on DS9 who had experienced pregnancy and birth, Kira had found herself offering what help and advice she could. Right now she was handing over traditional Bajoran herbs in the hope that they'd help with Kasidy's swollen feet. Kas took them gratefully.

"Thanks Nerys. At this point I'm willing to try just about anything if it gets my ankles to stop throbbing."

Kira grimaced in solidarity. "Sorry I can't be more help. How's the back?"

"Pretty good," said Kas. "Jake got me a heat lamp which has helped enormously. I think he was dreading me asking him for a massage." The two women shared a laugh before the mood turned sombre again. "I don't know Nerys," Kas said, shaking her head. "I've still got four months to go and I cannot wait for this baby to be born."

"I know what that feels like, and I shared half my pregnancy with Keiko. At the time I'd tell anyone who'd listen how much I hated being pregnant, but right now I think I'm actually a little jealous of you."

Kasidy's face brightened. "That's great; you can take the little mite off my hands and I can get back to feeling my feet and enjoying not being sick every morning."

Kira laughed. "Sorry Kas, I don't think that Julian would perform the transfer unless it were absolutely necessary. Besides, last time I didn't have a station to run."

"It was worth a try," said Kas with a grin. "How's your new first officer? You reckon this one will stick around?"

Kira pulled a face. "I'm resisting the temptation to throw him out an airlock, but just barely."

"That bad huh?"

"Worse. I think Starfleet is having too much fun sending me the most uptight officers they can find. Even Julian says he has a stick up his ass, and I agree."

"So his days are numbered then?"

Kira sighed. "I hope so. I don't think I can put up with the incessant whining about regulations much longer. Although I can see this one sticking around just to annoy me."

"How many first offers have you been through since you took over?"

"This one is my fourth in as many months," said Kira rubbing at her face. "Things would be alright if I could just find a first officer I get along with. Nog is doing fine as chief engineer, my head of security was hand picked by Odo and Ezri's been doing Worf's job almost better than he did since she switched to command."

Kas laid a reassuring hand on Nerys' arm. "I'm sure it'll work out eventually."

"I'm sure it will too. It's just I'm finding myself wishing more and more that I was first officer again, and all this stuff was Ben's problem. When he went away after Jadzia died I had Odo, and I didn't realise until now just how much I relied on him to keep me sane."

"So you really don't need to add swollen ankles to your list of problems," said Kasidy with a wry smile.

Kas looked rueful. "Sorry Kas. I wish I could do more to help."

"You're doing enough Nerys," said Kasidy sternly. "You've been my rock the last few weeks."

"Well, we girls need to stick together, you know?" asked Kira jokingly.

Suddenly Kas pulled a face like she was in pain, and Kira snapped into business mode.

"Kasidy? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong; the baby's just kicking. He or she starts up every night and keeps going until my ribs feel bruised. I think soccer is going to be this kid's sport; Ben would be horrified."

Kira's face relaxed as Kas got her breath back. There was a desire deep within her to reach out and feel the baby moving. Not just because this was the Emissary's child, but also because it was her friend's baby. But there was no way she was going to touch without permission. That was one thing she'd learned during her own pregnancy; people would walk up to a pregnant lady and start putting their hands all over her without asking. It was incredibly frustrating. More than one person had almost lost their hands while Kira was carrying Kirayoshi.

"Better?" asked Kira when Kas could breathe again.

"Much," replied the other woman. "Thanks for being patient while my kid kicked my insides to shreds."

"It's not a problem, but I should be getting going. I don't seem to be able to function on four hours sleep any more and I've got a busy space port to run."

"What's on the menu for tomorrow?"

Kira sighed. "Docking schedules, duty rosters, coordinating Cardassian relief efforts, helping negotiate Bajor's entry to the Federation and trying not to throttle my second in command. You?"

"Gestating. My own first officer won't let me on cargo runs any more and Jake's dealing with the building of Ben's house. I have nothing to do except grow a baby and I'm bored. Sure you don't wanna swap?"

"I'm sure," said Kira with a smile. "Night Kas."

"Goodnight Nerys."

Kira fished her patrol of the Promenade. Everything was quiet, except for Quark's which was still full of people eating, drinking and gambling. A few security officers were wandering the darkened corridors lettering the station's inhabitants safe. Everything was situation normal on Deep Space Nine.

Well, normal for the last four months at least.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira helps out when Kasidy gives birth.

It was the chirrup of her combadge that pulled Kira from her sleep. After almost eight years on the station she was well attuned to its distinct chirp, and also to it interrupting her slumber. Whenever her combadge sounded in the middle of the night it meant something serious was going down. She quickly scrabbled to answer it.

 

"Kira here," she said, not quite awake yet.

 

"Nerys?" said Kasidy, sounding out of breath. "I think the baby's coming."

 

That woke her up. Kira jumped out of bed and started to drag on some clothes. "Can you walk?"

 

"Yes, the contractions aren't too bad yet."

 

"Then I'll meet you at the infirmary. I'll wake Julian up."

 

Less than five minutes later Kasidy was propped up on a biobed with Julian sleepily running a tricorder over her belly. Kira stood to one side biting her fingernails nervously. Julian hummed and flipped up the cover on his tricorder.

 

"False alarm I'm afraid," he said.

 

"Again?" asked Kas in disbelief.

 

"I'm afraid so. Your daughter is going to arrive soon, but not tonight."

 

Kas growled in frustration. "I just want this kid out of me. Isn't there anything you can do?"

 

"I can give you a relaxant to help you sleep, but that's all I'm willing to do at this stage. Baby will come when she's ready."

 

Kasidy wasn't happy with this, but she didn't have a lot of choice. She allowed Julian to administer the shot and then Kira helped her back to her quarters. Nerys was just about to head back to her own quarters to grab a few more hours sleep when Kas put a hand on her arm, stopping her.

 

"Would you stay with me please, Nerys?" said Kasidy. "I'll sleep better knowing you're here."

 

Kira thought longingly of her own bed in her quarters and then looked at her friend. She knew Kas was frustrated by her advanced state of pregnancy. Kas was desperate to get this kid out of her and longing for human contact that wasn't medically related. So Kira did the only thing she could do; she slipped into bed with her friend, wrapping her arms around to rub her belly soothingly.

 

"People will talk," Kira said softly.

 

Kasidy didn't reply; she was already fast asleep, a contented smile on her face.

 

***

 

Three days later Kira was once again woken up by her combadge in the middle of the night.

 

"Nerys. The baby's coming."

 

"Are you sure this isn't another false alarm?"

 

"Given the fact my water just broke I'm pretty damned sure."

 

Kira was suddenly completely alert. "Have you called Julian?"

 

"Right before I called you. He's on his way over now."

 

"I'll be over as soon as I can. You want me to call Jake?"

 

Kas answered in the affirmative and closed the transmission. Kira dragged some clothes on before tapping her combadge again.

 

"Kira to Lieutenant Nog."

 

There was a bit of grunting and then the sound of a combadge being picked up. "Nog here."

 

"Would you wake Jake up and tell him to get over to his stepmom's quarters? His little sister is on the way."

 

"Right away, colonel," said Nog, and Kira could almost hear the grin on his face.

 

Kira knew that Jake would make it to Kasidy's quarters even if Nog had to drag him there. Safe in that knowledge she set out herself, running full tilt down the empty corridors.

 

Julian had beaten her there and teased her about being out of breath. Kira ignored him, her attention completely focussed on Kas. Jake arrived half an hour later with a mug of Raktajino in his hand. Despite his obvious tiredness he was obviously overjoyed that he was about to become a big brother.

 

Between the two of them they coached Kas through her contractions. They reminded her to breathe in all the right places and helped her through the worst of the pain. When Kas started screaming profanities during a particularly intense contraction, Kira thought that Bajoran birth was easy by comparison. Julian bustled about taking vitals and setting things up for later. 0700 came and went and Kira called up to Ops to let them know she wouldn't be on duty that day. She left them strict instructions not to call her unless someone was shooting at the station. When Julian announced that the Kas was fully dilated and that the real action was about to begin, she looked over at her stepson.

 

"If you wanna back out now Jake, I completely understand. You don't have to watch if you don't want to."

 

Jake smiled and pressed a kiss to her damp forehead. "I'll be fine, I want to be here. Besides you need to break someone's hand and better mine than Nerys'."

 

Kas gave him a grateful look and Kira smiled at the two of them. She thought Ben would be proud of how his son had turned out, but didn't say anything out loud.

 

Everything seemed to happen quickly after that. Kira found herself roped into acting as a nurse under Julian's instructions. She was kept busy after that and it seemed that very suddenly Julian was handing Kas her brand new baby girl. Kas and Jake gave each other identical delighted grins as she passed him his baby sister. Kira and Julian exchanged exhausted smiles. Nerys went to join them while Bashir delivered the after birth and began clean up.

 

"You did it Kas," said Kira, proud of her friend.

 

"I'm not doing it again," replied Kas, equal parts deliriously happy and utterly exhausted.

 

Kira smiled before her eyes were drawn towards the new born in Jake's arms. "What are you going to call the newest Sisko?"

 

"Rebecca Jae," said Kas. "And she's gonna be Yates-Sisko like her mom."

 

"Would you like to hold her Nerys?" asked Jake.

 

"If that's okay," said Kira shooting a worried glance at Kas. "I can head off if you and Jake want some time alone with her."

 

"Don't you dare," said Kas, pushing herself up on the bed and earning herself a chastising look from Julian. "You're family, and I would very much like my daughter to get a cuddle from her Aunt Nerys."

 

Jake passed Rebecca over and Kira settled her in her arms. She was lighter than Kirayoshi had been and somehow felt more fragile. Perhaps it was just that this was the daughter of the Emissary. If she turned out anything like either parent Rebecca would be far from fragile. She looked a lot like her mom, but Kira thought she could see Benjamin's influence around the nose. She felt fiercely protective of this child, and swore to herself that she would take care of her, no matter the cost.

 

"She's beautiful Kas," Kira said aloud. "Aren't you Becca? Are you a beautiful little baby?"

 

Kira passed her back to her mother for her first meal. Kas asked if Jake minded but he just rolled his eyes and said he was a modern 24th century guy; he could handle being in the same room as his stepmother breast feeding his sister. He even promised he'd change her diapers and Kas warned him he better not be joking. When Julian was done with whatever it was that he was doing he came over to join in the fussing over the baby

 

When Rebecca fell asleep after her feeding, Bashir suggested Kasidy do the same. Kira excused herself and headed up to Ops to check on her staff. She was absolutely exhausted but knew she wouldn't sleep yet, so she saw no harm in doing a little bit of work. As soon as she stepped off the lift she was accosted by an excited Nog.

 

"Colonel! How is Kasidy doing?"

 

"She's fine Nog," replied Kira. "She's settled down to have a nap with baby Rebecca."

 

Nog grinned so widely Kira thought the top of his head might fall off.

 

"Rebecca huh? Good name. What time was she born?"

 

"1023 hours."

 

"Ha! I win."

 

"Win what?" asked Kira suspiciously.

 

Nog's grin faded and he suddenly looked nervous. "Oh, er. After the false alarm the other day we started a bit of a thing to see who could guess closest to when Kasidy's baby would actually be born."

 

"A betting pool?"

 

"Er, I suppose you could call it that sir."

 

"Nog, you know bettering pools are against station regulations. Who started it?"

 

"Er..."

 

"Who started the pool, Lieutenant?" said Kira sharply.

 

"My Uncle Quark," Nog admitted.

 

"I'm going to bloody kill him!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kasidy has to go away on business Kira steps in to take care of Rebecca.

Kira was well used to her comm badge going off at ridiculous times by this point. So when it woke her up an hour before she was supposed to get up, she wasn't surprised in the least.

 

She was even less surprised to find out it was Kasidy on the other end.

 

_Sorry to wake you up Nerys_ , said Kasidy apologetically.  _But I've got a bit of a situation brewing over here._

 

"How can I help?"

 

_We've got a run for a big client heading out today and my XO wants me to come along. It's a big contract and we want to make sure everything runs smoothly. But I'm not comfortable bringing Becca along with me, not until she's a bit older. I'd leave her with Jake, but he's on Earth visiting his grandfather..._ she trailed off, her meaning clear.

 

"Kas, it's ok. You can leave her with me. I don't mind."

 

_I don't want to impose..._

 

"You're not," said Kira firmly. "Now what time did you want to drop her off?" Kasidy gave her an estimate and Kira realised she wouldn't make it to her shift on time. No matter; her staff were more than capable of running the station without her. As soon as Kas rang off the comm she tapped her badge again.

 

"Kira to Ops."

 

_Ops here, what can we do for you Colonel?_  It was one of the ensigns from gamma shift.

 

"Just ringing up to let you know I'll be a little late for my shift. Tell Jatarn when he comes on shift that he has command until I arrive. And I am not to be disturbed unless something is on fire or someone has declared war on us. Is that understood?"

 

_Yes Colonel_ . Kira could almost hear the ensign's lips twitching with amusement.  _May I ask what it is you'll be doing? In case Major Jatarn enquires._

 

Kira sighed, annoyed at her staff's insatiable curiosity.

 

"Babysitting."

 

***

 

Kasidy was in a bit of a flap by the time she arrived to drop Rebecca off. Kira did her best to be a solid and dependable presence and calm her friend down. Becca might only be few months old, but Kira had taken care of her plenty of times already. She knew her routine.  This time was different though. Those other times Kas had been  well within comm distance if something unexpected happened. This would be the first time in Becca's short life that Kas would really be leaving her. Kira wouldn't begrudge a young mother being nervous about leaving her baby for the first time.

 

"Thank you so much for doing this, Nerys," said Kas, handing Becca over.  "I don't know what I would have done otherwise."

 

"It's no problem at all," said Kira, cooing at the baby. "In fact its an absolute pleasure."

 

"You're not going to get into trouble for taking time off work?"

 

"Its only three days and besides, I can do my job and look after Rebecca at the same time."

 

"Will that be okay?" asked Kasidy, still fretting slightly.

 

Kira settled Becca in her arms and turned to Kas to settle her friend. "I won't  tell you not to worry, because you're going to worry the whole time you're gone. There's nothing I can say that will change that. What I can do is promise you it won't be anywhere near as bad as you think it will."

 

Kas was wringing her hands nervously. "But what if-"

 

"Kasidy, this is the quietest things have been in the eight years I've been on the station. If you're going to leave your baby now is absolutely the best time to do it. And even if something does happen, you know I will protect your daughter with my life. Now get out of here, before you change your mind."

 

She still looked anxious, but Kas nodded in agreement. She kissed her daughter goodbye, embraced her friend before taking her advice. After Kasidy had gone Kira took a moment to fuss Becca to make sure she was happy with Kas being gone. Then she put Becca's things away—save a few items she was likely to need—strapped her  to her chest with a traditional sling and headed to Ops to finally start her shift. If her staff thought it was odd that she was coming to work wearing a baby they didn't say anything.

 

Kira went about her day as normal: writing reports, reading communications from Starfleet, sorting out docking disputes and having meetings with irritating Bajoran diplomats. She did everything she usually did, only with a baby strapped to her chest. Becca was  well behaved all day, sleeping most of the time and only rarely fussing. Kira fed her when she needed feeding, soothed her when she was grumpy and excused herself to change her when she needed changing. If anyone she spoke to thought it odd that she was on duty with a baby, they didn't say anything. Both Julian and Ezri found flimsy excuses to stop by her office and coo for a while, which suited Kira just fine.  She let them fuss for a bit while she tackled some paperwork.

 

After her shift she went to the service at the temple. People would often take their children to worship the Prophets with them so Kira didn't look too out of place with a baby in a sling. No matter her troubles, she always felt calmer after a service. The incense and soft chanting of prayers seemed to have had a similar effect on Becca who slept through the whole thing. After services she went for dinner in the bar so that "Uncle" Quark could have a surreptitious fuss. He wouldn't admit it, not for all the latinum in the galaxy, but he had a real soft spot for Rebecca. Kira had even caught him being  _charitable_  around her once or twice. Eventually Quark's got too rowdy for a baby and Becca got restless so Kira  left. They went back to her quarters for a bath, a bottle and bed. Once the baby was settled she slogged through a few reports before turning in  early. Becca would be up a few times during the night for a feed and wanted to get as much sleep as she could.

 

Days two and three passed in much the same way as the first—Kira went about her usual routine, just with a baby strapped to her chest. As far as she could tell Becca barely even noticed her mother's absence, and Kira was enjoying herself despite the hard work and interrupted sleep. In fact, she strongly suspected it would be difficult to hand Rebecca back to Kasidy when the  _Xhosa_  returned. Kira had once confessed to Odo that her surrogate pregnancy had made her rethink whether she wanted children of her own. As a young resistance fighter she'd always sworn that she'd never have kids. What kind of life would it have been, raising a child in a cave? After the occupation ended she'd sometimes thought about having children, but it was giving birth to Kirayoshi that had changed her mind. Looking Becca the last few days had only intensified her desire to be a mother. There had been times over the last seventy six hours when it had almost felt like Rebecca was hers.

 

But she wasn't Kira's baby, she was Kasidy's. The  _Xhosa_  returned to DS9—only an hour behind schedule—bearing Becca's mother. Kira headed down to the docking bay to hand over her precious bundle to her friend. Kasidy's face lit up when she saw her daughter, and she immediately came over for a fuss.

 

"She hasn't been too much trouble has she?"

 

"Not at all. In fact, she's been a delight to have."

 

"Glad to hear it," said Kasidy grinning. "Anything interesting happen while I was away?"

 

"Rebecca puked on me during a subspace call to the First Minister. Apart from that it's been business as usual."

 

Kas look mortified. "Oh no! I am so sorry."

 

"Don't worry about it: Edon thought it was hilarious. It was probably the highlight of his week. I bet you've missed her though."

 

"You have no idea," said Kas.

 

_I might have some idea_ , Kira thought to herself. "Well, I better get back to Ops and let you two get some quality time in. If you want me to take her for a few days in the future, just ask."

 

Kasidy grasped Kira's arm a moment. "I really do appreciate you doing this for me Nerys. Thank you."

 

"Any time. You know where I am if you need me."

 

Kira left mother and daughter to their reunion and returned to her office. There were a thousand and one things that need ended doing but she put them to one side in favour of composing a message to Miles and Keiko. She hadn't spoken to them—or Molly and Kirayoshi—since they'd returned to Earth, and it was high time she did something about that. The last few days had made her realise she wanted to be more involved in her surrogate son's life. At least, as much as was possible from several thousand light years away. They were family just as much as Kasidy, Rebecca and Jake were now. She might not having any blood relatives left alive, but she loved the family she'd chosen for herself just as deeply.

 

_An awful lot of humans though_ , she thought to herself on amusement before turning her full attention to her letter.

 

_Miles, Keiko. Hope you are well..._

**Author's Note:**

> I have everyone assigning Rebecca's gender as female, but I have this idea that they're actually non-binary and will go by RJ when they're older.
> 
> Pretty sure that even with all their technology they can't detect gender in the 24th century, and even if they could a baby of a few hours old hasn't had time to develop their gender. So I'm sort of assuming that they make an assignment at birth and are a lot better at dealing with it if that assignment turns out to have been wrong later.


End file.
